華心會「就業支援計劃」為幫助增強服務使用者的生活技能及提升他們自信心，定期為服務使用者舉辦各項工作坊，例如「如何寫簡歷」、「成功面試」、「溝通技巧」、「壓力管理」等。
此支援計劃最近特別邀得心理輔導博士生兼商業與營銷資深講師李淦泉先生，為服務使用者舉辦「克服負面心態」工作坊。
古來有言，你最大的敵人，永遠是你自己。可曾發覺自己腦裡浮現的念頭如「他認為我是個失敗的人！」「我這回考試／面試一定不成功！」「我一定拿不到這份工作！」「如果我失敗了，我這一輩子完蛋了！」「我是一個不受歡迎的人，沒有人會喜歡我。」「不好的事情總是發生在我身上！」「我甚麼都做不好！」？這些想法在腦子裡發生時，你是那麼地毫不置疑它們的真實性，於是你感覺沮喪、絕望、失落、情緒低落，甚而懷疑個人的存在價值。而行動上，你的表現是退縮、消極、不起勁。
導致你無法積極行動的，不是因為你當真是個失敗的人，或你考試不及格面試不成功，或你當真是個失敗的人，而是你的負面想法。
「克服負面心態」工作坊裡，陳淦泉先生和參與者講述諸項日常生活事件，討論各人在事件發生時腦裡的想法，再進一歩檢驗不同想法或心態如何造就不一樣的行為表現。練習過程中讓大家看見，負面想法及心態對行為表現的直接影響。以上述例子而言，如果覺得自己考試或面試一定不成功，則考場裡可能表現不自信或慌亂，因而導致考試成績不理想。
負面心態影響個人表現，更直接影響人際關係。一個認定自己不受歡迎的人，往往對他人的認同或讚賞視而不見，同時杯弓蛇影，視他人無惡意的評論為針對自己，認定對方詆譭自己，繼而鞏固個人不受歡迎的預設心態，如此，行為表現上則顯得畏縮、沉默、迴避、孤澼、落落寡歡、不討喜，讓他人覺得難以親近，而落得人際關係不佳。
工作坊裡幫助參與者檢驗個人負面心態及了解負面心態所帶來的負面情緒及行為後，陳淦泉先生進一歩解說，負面心態是可以改變，將之以正面心態取代的。
比方說，如果你覺得自己凡事比人差：「他比我更成功！」你可以換一種想法：「我也不是太差！」如果你擔心公司的裁員波及你：「失去這份工作我就完蛋了！」你可以換一種想法：「老天自有最好的安排，無論發生什麼事，我都會過得很好。」
以負面心態看事情，並不能讓事情變得更好，反而會浪費很多不必要的時間精力在擔心、受怕、憤怒、怨恨上；更重要的是，如果你能夠轉念，用正面的心態去面對事情，你不單毫無損失，反而，心態改變之後，可讓自己變得比較快樂、比較有能量，這樣子當不如意的事情真的發生時，你可以更有能力地去處理它！
陳淦泉先生總結此工作坊道：「讓我們先從第一步做起：學習在生活中，時時觀察自己在想些什麼，如果發現了負面的思想，立即以正面想法將之取代。一段時間下來，你可以看看自己的生活是否有所改變。信心累積之後，你將會更願意持之以恆用正面信念來取代負面心態！」
CMHA ‘Employment Support Scheme’ helps service users to strengthen their life skills and increase their self-confidence by organising workshops regularly for service users such as ‘CV Writing’, ‘Successful Interview’, ‘Communication Skills’, ‘Stress Management’ and etc.
In supporting this program, we recently invited a professional counsellor with a doctorate degree and a senior lecturer in business and marketing, Mr Lee Gan Quan to deliver ‘Overcome Negative Thoughts’ workshop for CMHA Employment Project service users.
This phrase ‘Your biggest enemy is yourself’ has been around since ancient times. Have you ever found yourself emerging thoughts such as ‘He thinks I am a failure!’, ‘Now I will not succeed in this exam/interview!’, ‘I will not succeed in getting this job!’, ‘If I fail, my life is over!’, ‘I am not a popular person and no one likes me!’, ‘Bad things always happen to me!’, ‘I am no good at anything!’ When you have these kinds of thoughts in your mind, you would have never suspected if they are genuinely real, therefore you feel frustrated, despair, lost, depressed and even have doubts about the value of yourself as an individual and so in action your performance is reduced and you take a negative outlook.
It is not because you really are a failure, or you fail your exam /do not succeed in interview that led you not been able to carry out positive actions but rather your negative thoughts.
At ‘Overcome Negative Thoughts’ workshop, Mr. Lee Gan Quan and participants talked about various matters in daily life and discussed personal thoughts when events occurred. Furthermore we found out how different thoughts or mental states of mind can lead to different kinds of behaviour. Throughout the practising process, we can see that negative thoughts or attitudes can have a direct impact on our behaviour. The above example shown that if you think exam/interview will not succeed for sure, you may appear lack of confidence or become panic in the exam room. This can lead to non ideal exam results.
Negative thoughts affects individual performance. It has an even more direct impact on interpersonal relationships. If someone firmly believes he/she is not a popular person, he/she often ignores other people’s recognition or appreciation. At the same time he/she is extremely suspicious of others. He/she regards others’ non-malicious comments as against himself. He/she accounts other party as defaming himself/herself. The default state of mind then consolidates him as an unpopular person. So the behaviour performance appears to be shrink, silence, avoidance, isolation, sad, unlovable, others find it difficult to get close and they will end up in poor interpersonal relationships.
In the workshop, Mr Lee helped participants to test personal negative thoughts and understand its consequences. Mr Lee Gan Quan explains further that negative thoughts can be changed and replaced with positive thoughts.
For example, if you feel everything you do is worse than everyone else: ‘He is more successful than I am!’ You can look at it in a different view: ‘I am not that bad!’ If you worry about redundancy might get to you and thinks losing the job means your life is over, you can try a different perspective such as ‘God has the best plan for you. No matter what happens, I will be fine.’
Negative thoughts often does not help in making things better, on the contrary, a lot of unnecessary time and energy will be wasted on worrying, fear, anger and resent, more importantly, if you switch to positive thoughts, not only you have no losses nevertheless a change in attitude can make you feel much happier and become more energetic. Along this lines, positive thoughts and attitude means better capability to deal with things when they go wrong.
Mr Lee Gan Quan summarises the workshop by saying ‘Let's make a start with our first step, learn to be aware of your own thoughts, observe your thinking, when negative thoughts pop out, replace them with positive thoughts immediately. After a period of time, you can see if there are any changes in your life. Following the build up of confidence, you will be more willing to persevere. And continue with the positive thoughts and attitude!’
Translated by Lilian Yong
華心會「就業支援計劃」將於九月之後結束，計劃結束前，有幸邀得「新教育」
